We know that Tiger is in trouble…It’s not like he boned Serena Williams! Because that would’ve been a funny story to write about, Serena Williams booty and Tiger?  We all know how funny that would be, but it’s not! In this case it’s the same ol’ bullshit. (Steve McNair got killed for this kind of activity) It’s his “Swiss Miss” wife sharing center stage, which we all know was bound to happen once Tiger Wood was put on a pedal stool. Now they knock him off and reclassify him as the “black golfer”, oh yeah he’s black now!

To all the Funny Source News readers, forgive me for I have been busy. Still funny, just busy with developing projects and expanding my life. I’ve been in New York City for the last month then working in Miami. This has prohibited me to stay current on our blog here.  One of our readers once told me there was so much material on FSNToday you can stay busy catching up and laughing for years. (she smokes a lot of weed).  So I figured and always knew the day would come that I would have to take a break to do some acting or writing for television or film. That time has come, so please forgive me. FSNToday is still an excellent resource to exercise laughter and find material. Old or new it’s all still funny, which has been the only priority at FSNToday is to bring funny to you.

I would like to take the time to thank all of you who support FSNToday, which prompted this editor note to you all. I run into many of  you, so you already know that I’ve been missing in action. Hopefully, y’all are still finding laughs on our site. I wanted to let you all know we’re down but not out. I will be back as soon as time allows.   Be happy for me, if I can’t do this then it means I’m preparing to come to you nationally on t.v. or some shit. lol.

Only Editor in Chief and Blogga!

Yul “Spencer”

“That’s a Wrap for Real”

…I know, I know, “Cablacanasian” or some stupid thing like that. Remember when they had to put a label on him. What is he? He’s golfing so good, what is his race? He’s black and he’s still black and we all could see that from our  balconies.

This now, number one golfer in the world has avoided all the celeb. tendencies to act a fool. And I believe he was well aware of his personal responsibility to be cool in public. Especially if he didn’t want the public to see him as a black person.

We all know if he was at the clubs every night, rummaging through white women. Oh, he would’ve been black as hell. How ’bout he robb a 7-11 for his drug habit…BLACK. But he has avoided all these pitfalls that so many in his position black or white have not.

Well, after smashing all the other golfers in the Fed Ex. Cup and picking up a quick 10million dollar check. Moving him up to the 10 figures necessary to becoming a freakin’ billionaire baller biaatch!!! in the words of my boi’ Dave Chapelle, “Im Rich Bitch”..

But who didn’t know this? You know if your rich Forbes is on your ass checking your assets and reporting them to the public all the time. In other words “They be all in your business” and telling everyone about it. Forbes magazine is like a federally funded agency who creeps into the business of it’s citizens. They’re nosey!!!

Anyhow this is how we got this information. They reported like 895m. for 2009 including endorsements as well as the golfing. So with this last win at the Fed Ex.Cup they’re now labeling our main man Tiger. Otherwise known as “Tigger” in some circles. A “Billionaire” sportsman. If Tiger wasn’t golfing he’d be Obama, and if Obama wasn’t President he’d be Tiger. They’re breeding these types of multi-cultural black folks somewhere. It really makes you go hmmm, doesn’t it?  This is a funny source for news.

Don’t Hate…Congratulate!!! Congratulations Tiger Woods from NBNToday.com

“That’s a Wrap 4 Real”

Dumb ass CBS news producer, Joe Halderman, arrested in Letterman’s extortion plot yesterday. Dude threatened to collapse Letterman’s world. Instead he’s the one that will be collapsed between a bunk bed in a state prison with a guy named Bubbah and his side kick the “Toss the Salad Man”

“That’s a Wrap 4 Real”

And if you’ve never heard of the “The Toss the Salad Man” here he is …WATCH

Dave’s comments on the Show last night.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/2009/10/02/2009-10-02_robert_j.html#ixzz0SnuBRUS8

Late night showman David Letterman is doing all he can to fess up to having sex with at least two staffers’. Someone attempted to extort Letterman in this case and instead of letting the person get away with it. Letterman called the DA’s office in New York and set up a sting op. on the mudder-phucka.

The victims were women, Dave, was knocking boots with.(VICTIMS OR VOLUNTEERS?) Just clarifying things. David is a funny man but obviously quite horny as well. We, believe it’s the V’ that is responsible for these kinds of incidents. I’m not talking “True Blood”(HBO) talk, I’m talking “Viagara”.

We, find it funny when the media gets their drawers in a bunch or a hard on for a celebrity.  The media immediately turns sour on these celebs. I think it’s because they prefer to be the celebrities. The media acts holier than thou. Like the person giving the report or responding to it, isn’t human and has never heard of such a thing. And all day long they report of murder, rape, tragedy, but OMG Leno, had sex with Laura Bush. Now that would be a funny scandal. But there’s a story they can sink their teeth’s into and dish out a bunch of personal mumbo jumbo to go along with it, like the audience listening respects them or something. Don’t get me wrong I’m writing in general these media hypes are crazy.

We crack the “phuck” up here at the offices at the double standards of almost any given incident on any given day. The flexibility of the law the cover up and the exposed. Most citizens and humans have an idea of how tough it is to live their own lives.

But to be a David Letterman, or a Bill Clinton or some celebrity mogul, well into your fifties, rich, charismatic, and on t.v. that’s a cocktail for pussy.

I know if your  male or female reading this old or young you know this writer isn’t lying. Are sure you wouldn’t sleep with someone for money?  Or for Fame?  Yes we would. Especially in these tough recessionary times.

Nevertheless, David got his extorter, he testified in court today, admitting tapping the asses of his staffers. He’s going to apologize tonight on his show to his audience. Pretending to be ashamed or remorseful about hitting that booty. Because c’mon my funny people you know that being that rich and that privileged …If it were you, you’d be lying too. Lying about being upset because you had sex with someone on your job. I’m sorry, no your not.

Your caught is what you are. We’d like to congratulate David Letterman, for the sting op. and taking the hit like a soldier, for not letting this extorter get away with 2 million dollars. Yeah, that’s what David had to pay this person to shut ‘em up about his indiscretions. But instead Letteman, brought over a check with a wire and whole bunch of police man. Pop goes the extortionists who “phucks” with Dave.

Be sure to watch “Late Night with David Letteman” on NBC he promises he won’t have sex on camera.

“That’s a Wrap 4 Real”

We had to share this with all of my readers and all who fall upon NBNToday.com.  Where you get to laugh ’bout the truth. This man is sharing an amazing message with you…Enjoy..

“4real”

by Aaron Ledesma

VERA ENQUIST gets her hair touched up by Jo Ann Covey

For 28 years, Jo Ann Covey of Long Beach’s Sharrion James Hair Design has enjoyed being the hairdresser of a woman she describes as “funky” and “absolutely remarkable.” On September 30th, when Vera Enquist sees Jo Ann for her Wednesday morning appointment, Vera will be celebrating her 100th birthday.

“If you talked to her, you wouldn’t even know she was turning one hundred,” says Covey. “Her mind is sharp.”

What’s funny to me is the possible side effects, like death, if you don’t take it. And they’re charging you for it. It’s just not free to save your own ass in America today. You must pay. Even though we have all the resources to take care of anyone. Nope, we live in a monetary society and as long as we do you “gots” to pay.  It’s just the kind of scare to line people up and do with them what you will. So don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions. Questions like… You tryin’ to kill me Doc?

…like we didn’t expect that to happen I’m sharing with my readers they’re not interested in helping Americans. My People your going’ to have to save yourselves. No public option. The Senate Committee shot it down today,  the fear of  socialized medicine is freaking out the land of the free. And we mean free to pick you own doctor. What’s scary about  a possible socialized  health care system?

What if the socialized medical care for Americans who can’t afford health care is just away to get rid of them? To poison them slowly . And really drop the cost of living. Because it’s a plan to kill everybody. Kill everybody certain elite people deem stupid. Or it could just be the medical weed everyone’s smoking in Ca.. It’s bringing on such paranoia.

“That’s a Wrap 4 Real”

Film director Roman Polanski, (”Rosemary’s Baby”, “Chinatown”)got popped again. He was surprised with this arrest at a Zurich airport. He was flying in to be honored and end up getting arrested. Vanity the worst of all the sins. It will get you every time. This was like when they hook criminals by saying you won a big screen t.v. because your, you. And then they come down to pick up the t.v. and get busted for they’re original crime. But this time it wasn’t the police who set him up, it was vanity people. Vanity like quicksand when you get in it you just go deeper and deeper into it and eventually it’s covering your whole face. And you can’t breathe and we all know what happens after that. Yep, you croak.

Well, Roman’s past finally caught up to him. For those readers who aren’t up on this old news becoming new again. This dude some thirty years ago drugged and raped this thirteen year old girl after a photo shoot at Jack Nicholson’s crip. And then he admitted to it in court. Sounds like some shit a devil would do you know the devil a cold m.f.. Any way Polanski, was tried for this rape and then after confessing to it, decided it was best he leave the country. So before he could be sentenced he got his ass on an international flight and kept it flying in the friendly skies ever since.

Now he’s back and in handcuffs. The girl he did this too, is now 45 as says she wants the whole thing dropped forgotten about. But you know the good ol’ law and press they won’t leave anything like this alone. Even if you ask them to.

Many Americans, are amazed this guy could even skip the country and live abroad safely. Without the threat of being snatched up and brought back to America. Seems though these have been the nightmares Roman Polanski, has slept with for years. And now this is his opportunity to be rid of this case forever. He won’t be getting his honor he flew into Zurich for, the people who came to the event to honor him will have to wait. Wait for him to be released after a good prison rape from some of the kinder criminals inside the prison he’s going to. Roman’s life has been no picnic,(read this article on the Huff post) but privileges aren’t privileges if you use them to go to prison.  Well, kids let this be a lesson to ya’ . “You Can Roman But You Can’t Hide” .

Questions to my readers: I happen to know somebody, who knows somebody, who’s somebody’s cousin who says he slept with girl that was seventeen and he was nineteen can he go to jail for that now that he’s in his forties? Leave the comment.

“That’s a Wrap 4 Real”

After a whirlwind romance (and only knowing each other for a month, one month, are you phucking crazy?), reality starlet Khloe Kardashian and L.A. Laker Lamar Odom married on Sunday afternoon, in front of friends and family, OK Magazine confirms.

She must be putting Lamar down with some family money after one month if his pimpin’ is strong . I’m not an aeronautic expert but I know a fix when I see one. . Nevertheless,  NBNToday.com would like to go on record saying this is a casting call not a marriage. She just needs the brotha’ for the show.

She’s the least attractive Kardashian and she’s trying to push her stock up with this man. Lucky he’s a Laker, obviously she doesn’t know her stock won’t go up by just marrying a black man, actually it could go down. But he’s a Laker!!! so he’s not exactly black until he sodomizes Khloe or some poor white girl at a Holiday Inn.

Of course his blackness would come out after robbing a 7-11 or stealing a car, yeah, he would be real black then. Until then he’s green, greener then the green Obama’s trying to get everyone to support. In other words he’s rich. That’s this writers goal, to eliminate my racial stigma by becoming “Green”, rich. Well, Lamar has already accomplished this feat, but I digress to say he won’t keep much of his wealth hanging around this girl. Let’s just say this writer has been around several blocks more than once, and game recognize game. Do you Khloe.

The couple tied the knot at the house of music mogul Irving Azoff in a ceremony that included the release of hundreds of balloons into the sky. Lamar should’ve put 40 million balloons in the air. That’s what this marriage is going to end up costing him before it’s all over. Who wants to doubt me? That’s what our comment box is for. For you readers who doubt me, use it.

“That’s a Wrap 4 Real”